A Journey of Heartbreak & Loss

We’ve been looking forward to this trip, which was to be the adventure of our lifetime. We left Evergreen on May 16th full of excitement, anticipation and joy.

It was to be six week of wonderful adventures. We planned to visit six National Parks, 4 National Historic Sites, travel the ruggedly beautiful Oregon coast, camp among the redwoods and take Rhoda across the Puget Sound by ferry.

Even more exciting was the news that after years of dealing with fertility issues, our daughter Lindsey and son in law Jon were pregnant with a baby girl and nearing the end of her first trimester, We were finally going to be grandparents!

Our dear friend Debbie was gravely ill but we just knew that she would beat ovarian cancer because she was a superwoman who has always beaten the odds. Just ask President Bill Clinton. As his National Presidential Campaign Director, she helped get him elected…twice!

But things started going wrong just two hours after leaving home. Dangerous winds stopped our forward progress before we even left Colorado. This was a bad omen that we ignored.

Two days later we thought we’d hit the jackpot when I realized we’d be passing through Reno, NV at exactly the same time Lindsey and Jon would be there seeing their fertility doctor for the last time before being passed on to a regular OBGYN for the rest of the pregnancy. We arranged to meet for a celebratory lunch. I will never forget the agony in Lindsey’s voice when she screamed out the words, “Mom…there is no heartbeat, the baby is gone.” Minutes later she stepped out of her car and fell into my arms as we all wept together. A couple of hours later they had to leave Reno for the three hour drive back to Mammoth and we continued on our way. We didn’t take that as an omen either.

A few days later, our beloved Bernese Dog Enzo started having problems getting up the stairs into Rhoda and he began walking stiffly, with his back hunched. The wonderful vet we found nearby did an X-ray and found that Enzo’s beautiful heart was dangerously enlarged. We raced him up to the hospital at Oregon State University, A CT scan found cancer raging throughout his body. The only thing we could do was to let him go. But even when my best dog died, we kept going.

Until today. We’re packing up and heading home. An unthinkable and unbearable thing happened this afternoon. Our dear and wonderful Debbie died today. We cannot keep this damned and cursed trip going for even one more minute. We need to be with Debbie’s wife Alice and our friends to mourn one of the world’s best people. I just cannot imagine that the sun will rise tomorrow to light a world without Debbie Willhite in it.

FUCK CANCER!  FUCK CANCER!   FUCK CANCER!   FUCK CANCER!!!