Brokenhearted In Oregon

May 28th. Corvalis, OR

Our beloved Enzo died today. When we started our trip almost two weeks ago, he appeared to be healthy and happy to be On The Rhoda again with us and his twin (minus 100lbs) Gizmo. But just a few days ago Enzo suddenly needed help getting into the truck and up Rhoda's 3 steps. He seemed uncomfortable walking and his hind legs were weak. But it was a holiday weekend and we couldn't find an emergency animal clinic that was open. Early yesterday morning we reached the wonderful Dr. Ed O'Donnell who told us to bring Enzo over before his hospital opened for the day. Unbeknownst to us, Enzo had a very high fever and a severely enlarged heart. Dr. O'Donnell called in a few favors and got us an emergency appointment at the Oregon State University's Veterinary Hospital this morning. It was 3 hours away from our campground so we were on the road as the sun rose.

I was terrified because the typical life span of a Bernese Mountain Dogs is 8-10 years and Enzo was 8. Our souls were connected, Enzo's and mine....mine and his. I always knew what he was thinking; what he wanted and what he needed. He communicated with a glance or by looking through my eyes directly into my heart. There aren't many relationships like that but I had one with Enzo. So how could I not know his body was betraying him? How did he hide his pain from me? Why didn't he ask for help the way he demanded a walk or a favorite treat? I cannot bear knowing that he was alone in his suffering when we could have shared that burden the way we shared so much else. Yes he was a dog but he was my soul mate.

The folks at OSU were amazing, kind and compassionate. As soon as they took Enzo in for treatment, his heart rate spiked and they asked for permission to recussitate him. Enzo rallied but CT scans showed that his majestic body was riddled with cancer, from his lungs to his bones. There was nothing that could be done to save him. So Jamie and I curled up on the floor with Enzo, one of us on either side of his enormous body and held him close while he took his final breath. We gave him the gift of a dignified and pain free end which was a mere pittance compared to the lifetime of love he gave freely to everyone privileged to know him. He was our last and best Berner. Rest well sweet Zozo Bear.. We will love you and miss you forever. You will always have a home as long as my heart beats...wherever we are you will be with us...at home and especially...On The Rhoda